Medal Count
by XbehindtheseaX
Summary: Oh, America! SUCK IT! You’re behind on the medal count, mein Freund'” Some of the nations argue over who will win the Winter Olympics. Crack


_It was a snowy afternoon in…wherever it was the 2010 Winter Olympics were being held. The top ten nations decided to treat themselves to lunch together. However, they were so distracted and excited that…just…read the story!_

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"Oh, America! SUCK IT!" The normally reserved German pointed exaggeratedly at the blonde. "You're behind on the medal count, _mein Freund_!"

"I'm only behind you, bastard! And besides, the United States of Awesome will catch up, I assure you!"

"_Non, Amerique. _The nation of love is only in third. You shall be destroyed!" He pounded his fists on the table as though to make a point. "Agree with Big Brother France, Italy."

"Ve, what?" Italy looked up from his bowl of pasta and grinned. "I think Germany should win, because he's so nice. I'd like to win, but Germany's my friend so I want him to win even more!~"

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WE HAVE TO WIN AGAINST THAT STUPID POTATO BASTARD! WHY DID I END UP ON A TEAM WITH MY USELESS BABY BROTHER?!"

"Because you and your brother are part of the same nation now, Romano." Norway looked indifferent to the bickering of his fellow nations.

China huffed. "You could be on a team with Yong Soo, aru."

"I HEARD THAT, ANIKI! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I'M DOING BETTER THAN YOU! AND BECAUSE THE OLYMPICS WERE INVENTED IN KOREA! AND BECAUSE YOUR BREASTS BELONG TO ME!~"

"H-HEY! STOP GROPING ME, ARU!" China tried to pry the hands away from his chest. "D-DON'T MAKE ME GET IVAN IN HERE, ARU!"

"Korea, stop touching him. _Now._" Switzerland raised his gun at the other nation.

"Switzerland, it isn't polite to aim guns at people. Nor is it proper when they are beating you in an international sporting event. But of course, _I _will be the eventual victor." Austria interjected, not even looking up from his tea.

"You cocky, prissy, stuck-up little aristocrat! I'm the one who taught you right from wrong, you ungrateful Austrian snob!"

"I fail to see the point of so many adjectives. Hmph." He snorted in reply.

"Please don't fight with Switzerland, Austria." Germany said calmly. "YOU'RE ALL GOING DOWN ANYWAYS!"

"NO, FUCKING POTATO BASTARD!"

"Ve, don't shout at Germany, brother. I want him to win!"

"This doesn't matter anyways, you'll bow before the American flag soon enough!"

"ONLY A NATION AS _TRES BIEN_ AS _MOI_ CAN WIN!"

"DON'T YOU DARE TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT, OR I'LL SHOOT YOU, FRANCE!"

"I'm not fond of him either, but it isn't proper to aim at a-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, AUSTRIA!"

"QUIT SWEARING ARU~"

"…I'm going to go find Iceland." Norway stood and left without even being noticed.

"SWEARING WAS INVENTED IN KOREA!"

"STOP SHOUTING, YOU BASTARDS! YOU ALMOST MAKE ME WANT TO BE AROUND THAT STUPID TOMATO BASTARD SPAIN!"

"SHOUTING WAS ALSO INVENTED IN KOREA!"

"ALL OF YOU NEED TO SHUT UP!" A new voice began.

Everyone quieted.

"You will all lose to my awesome awesomeness, because Prussia pwns ALL!"

"…_Bruder_, you can't play in the Olympics. You're not a country."

"That's what you think!" The Prussian climbed out from under the table. "But I'm so awesome I don't need a team to beat you. I'm just that awesome."

"I'm afraid your brother is right, Gilbert. Besides, everyone knows the win shall go to a mountainous country. My own homeland of _Österreich, _most likely."

"I have mountains too! And they're bigger than yours!" Switzerland grunted.

"Nobody beats my awesome five meters!"

"You overuse the word "awesome," _mon ami._" France elbowed him. "And I do testify that you have five meters. I've seen them, and they are _delicious._"

Prussia smirked as he pushed his friend away. "Perv. Go hit on the Italies or something."

"Ah, wonderful idea."

"STUPID BROTHER OF THE FUCKING POTATO BASTARD! STAY THE HELL AWAY, YOU PERVERTED MOTHER FUCKER!"

"_Stoppen!_ We've lost track of time! The next event starts in five minutes!"Germany started to run toward the door.

All the nations gathered themselves and started to follow, elbowing and shouting about how they were going to crush their competitors. Before they'd all filed out, someone raised their voice.

"Wait, where exactly are we again?" Italy chirped.

Everyone shrugged.

"Beats me!" America replied. "Wherever we are, it's damn COLD."

One by one, nations rushed out of the room until it was empty. It was a moment before the lone blonde spoke.

"Canada. You're in Canada." He sighed, readjusting the glasses that rested in front of his violet eyes.

"Who?" Kumajiro whispered.

"CANADA! OH! NEVERFUCKINGMIND! IT'S TIME TO GO KICK THEIR ASSES!"And Canada ran out of the room.

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_Shoot me with Vash's gun xD_

_They're all OOC and uncomposed cuz it's the OLYMPICS, MAN! YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE THEY'RE PUMPED!_

…_I should be doing homework. But that first line "Oh, America! SUCK IT!" popped in my head and I had to write this! Anyways, here's the top ten nations as of right now._

**Germany**

**U.S.**

**France**

**Canada**

**South Korea**

**Switzerland**

**China**

**Austria**

**Norway**

**Italy**

_...Hope you enjoyed ^.^_

-Lissa


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